I replaced our CRM with a Google Sheet and two arguing bots


Sunday 26 July 2026

I replaced our CRM with a Google Sheet and two arguing bots

No data entry. No reports. Just the shift most businesses are getting backwards.

Welcome to the Situation Room, where we help enterprise teams pick up an agentic mindset. In practice that means throwing out software built around the limits of the people using it, and taking the role, the task and the record back to first principles so we can engineer them for agents instead. This week we're eating our own dog food. The subject is CRM.

Systems of record were the temples. Agents end the religion.

Start with a provocation from my friend Sameer Patel. For thirty years the system of record was the temple of the enterprise. The CRM, the ERP, the HR system. We built them to hold the sacred account of what happened, and every day we sent our people in to make their offerings, a logged call, a closed stage, a filled-in field. Sameer's argument is that agents end the religion. The system of record gives way to the system of outcome, software that doesn't just store what happened but goes and gets the thing done. Read his piece, he has a lovely example about shipping oranges out of Florida that I won't spoil.

We're taking every client we have down this road, for their own processes and for the ones they run on behalf of their customers. Which made it a little awkward that our own contacts were scattered across a dozen Google Sheets held together with hope. Time to eat what we cook. Time to reengineer our own CRM.

Why the CRM exists, and why reps actually hate it

So let's do it properly, starting with why the thing exists at all.

Sales automation was never really built for the salesperson. It was built to protect the company from the salesperson. Before it existed, the rep's contacts lived in a Rolodex and a local spreadsheet, and when the rep quit, the relationships walked out the door with them. Automation moved that knowledge into a system the company owned. The second job was forecasting, giving leadership a way to see the quarter coming. Helping the rep sell was how it got sold in. It was never the reason the budget got approved.

That original sin is why the CRM is a pain in the neck for the rep. The benefit flows uphill. The rep does the typing, management reads the reports, and keeping it current becomes the oldest fight in the building. Nobody ever fired a rep blowing the top off their target for a messy pipeline.

Ironically that makes it worse for sales leadership, not better. The forecast you're staring at is only as accurate as the rep's data entry, and the rep's data entry is late, thin and strategically vague, because they're paid to sell, not to feed your dashboard. So leadership makes calls on numbers that were half-invented on a Friday afternoon (you know that's true!). A record nobody wants to keep is a record you can't trust.

Back to first principles: what does a contact record actually need to do?

Back to first principles then. Strip away the software and ask what we actually need our contact record to do. Not much, it turns out. Know who we know. Know what was said and what we promised. Know what to do next. That's the whole job. Everything else the CRM adds is feature-bloat.

So, could we eliminate the data entry?

Yes, because the data already exists. It's sitting in our email, in our recorded calls, in our posts, in our subscriber list. Nobody needs to retype what the company already has a copy of. The tool reads what already happens. It ran back over months of our email and handed us around 600 contacts, populated, without a single form being filled in.

Could we eliminate the enrichment too?

Mostly. The same harvest fills in the gaps as it goes, and where it needs the relational map, who works where, who knows whom, it points at LinkedIn, which is already the best-maintained contact database on earth and one we don't have to keep ourselves.

Which leaves the last question. How do you decide what to do next without reports and dashboards?

Because let's be honest, who ever genuinely loved a dashboard? The BI vendors loved them. The rest of us squinted at a chart, exported it to a spreadsheet, and made the decision in our heads anyway. A report is just a waiting room you sit in before the decision. So we skipped the waiting room.


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Two bots that argue

Instead of tables, we built two arguments.

JamieBot adds. It goes looking for what's missing, what slipped through, who we said we'd call and didn't, and where our particular kind of help actually fits. ZahidBot subtracts. It's the investor at the table who doesn't care how busy we look, only whether the week moved the number, and it kills anything that doesn't. They read the same data, they disagree, and what lands in front of Jamie and me is a short action list. Do this. Skip that. Call her back before Thursday. The noise stays with the bots.

Notice what the bots don't do. They don't take the meeting. New business, renewals, the complicated deals, those still close because one human talked to another, and they always will. The old CRM tried to automate the relationship and left us to do the analysis. We turned it the other way up. The machine does the analysis, on a rolling basis, and gives us back the hours to do the one thing it can't.

This is what we do.

We help enterprises rethink the business now that they have agents on the payroll. Not to replace the people, but to give them their day back. Most companies point AI at the paperwork and call it progress. We start earlier, at the role and the task, and ask what only exists because a human used to do it by hand.

Our own CRM is a small example. It took the record-keeping off our plate entirely and left us with the part that actually needs a human: the decisions and the trade-offs that keep us on target. That's the work worth protecting, and it's the work we help your teams get back to.

If that's a conversation you want to have about your own business, book thirty minutes with us.

We only built this last week. Want one?

We only built this last week, and we've just started running the business on it. We'll tell you how it goes, the good and the parts that break.

If you want to build one of your own, we'll have Claude write you the markdown file to start from. Email us at shift@thetrustedagents.ai with subject line "NEW CRM", and I'll send it over.

Gam and Jamie

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